About a year ago I was long-distance driving and I had a GPS device monitoring my average speed for the trip. If traffic slowed or if I stopped at a red light or a rest area, my average speed fell. If I pushed beyond the speed limit, my average speed rose.
Being who I am, I became obsessed with that GPS. My goal was to keep the average speed above 65 miles per hour, and I succeeded until a Virginia State Trooper got all officious on me. Damn!
Me? Competitive?
Actually, “competitive” is not the right word. People who are competitive need to win, they need to beat the other person or the other team… I take no pleasure in beating the competition.
People who are competitive hate to lose… I’m fine with losing. I’ve been losing all my life (water off a duck’s back).
Yet there’s something like “competitive” churning inside me, some other word, but I’m hard pressed to think of it…
I have this strong desire to accomplish something, to do something worthwhile, to be important. I have this strong desire for people to see me and admire me and say, “He’s such a great guy!”
What’s the word I’m looking for?
Blogging? No. Close, but not quite. There’s another word for it. What is it?
Ah, yes. Now I have it. Insecure.
Today it occurred to me that the WordPress dashboard is like a GPS. It’s even called a dashboard, for crying out loud! I’ve become obsessed with my average views per day. [Not that I'm setting any land-speed records, for the record, barely reaching double digits lately...] But it’s only a matter of time before a cyber-psyche-trooper pulls me over… unless I lighten up, relax, and enjoy the ride. Hey, look! A hitchhiker! Maybe I’ll pick her up…
Life is like looking in a mirror during a storm: while I’m preoccupied with the nature of reality, the reality of nature smacks me upside the head. – Marstead Kvenel
An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly understood; an inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.
- G. K. Chesterton
July 5, 2009 at 12:07 pm |
Ha! I KNOW!!! I do the same thing and actually look around my empty room, almost blushing that the trees and the clouds see me check how many visitors I have two or three times (or more when I’m depressed!) a day. What the hell? Oh…I seriously was rolling with laughter at this post. Also, I felt like a monkey cause I knew you were doing something clever here:
“Yet there’s something like “competitive” churning inside me, some other word, but I’m hard pressed to think of it…”
But I was slow on the uptake. I even clicked on “word” and “press”. Died laughing when I “got” it. Lord!!!
Thanks for cracking me up. Just sweep up the pieces and mail them back to me please.